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Difficult to Embrace

It can be difficult at times to embrace who you are as someone who lives with a disability. The daily struggles that you have in all aspects of life can be a challenge to contend with. The battles that are waged are from more than one front.

 From the outside it is the constant judgement from others who do not understand your quirks. To the assumptions of what disability is and isn’t. An endless subjection to pure ableism. Sometimes from people who mean well. But don’t fully understand.

Though the internal struggles can be more harsh. Every thing that we do that doesn’t fit the norm. Problems in social situations. Interactions with people that can seem off putting when you don’t intend it. To mobility problems or other related things. Along with some days when the brain “just isn’t working quite right.”

To deal with that can make someone extremely self conscious and way too self aware of what is going on. It reaches a point when you are almost fearful of being around others because some will not understand how you are. Nor will they take the time to get to know you and have a better understanding.

Sometimes it can be soul crushing to realize that we are not normal by any level of what people consider it to be. That no matter what we do in this life people will not always accept or take the time to understand. Yet in order to move forward in we have to find some way to accept and embrace who we are. To understand that some days are just more of a challenge to navigate than others.

These are lessons that I’ve had to learn in my own life. The struggle to live with my own disabilities can be difficult. As I understand that sometimes my thoughts and actions don’t always make sense to those around me. For the longest time it was hard for me to accept that I’m just not like other people.

As I’ve reflected on my own life over the years I have found that my faith in Christ has been the biggest help in accepting my disabilities. The world may never fully understand what it is like to live with some kind of challenge or disability. Christ does. He accepts me for who I am no matter what the world may say or do. He knows my internal struggles better than I and will provide comfort on the days that are most challenging. To be honest with out Christ in my life I am not sure I would ever fully accept that I live with a disability. Yet is it the only way I can make sense of the world around me. -

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